xkit guy for president 2016

meatbicyclevevo:

maybe he can fix our crumbling economy

alekshdfilms:

one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat

oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

morgrana:

spoken-not-written:

fatwink:

i need a guy to grab my butt right now

i would but things with high value usually have a ‘look but don’t touch’ policy

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captwor:

when u stick your hand under the table and touch chewed gum

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brused:

cassbones:

inspookableassghosts:

you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how math works

hey that means charity will also get unlimited money so I’m game

so both charity and I get unlimited money, sounds like a win win situation.

brused:

cassbones:

inspookableassghosts:

you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how math works

hey that means charity will also get unlimited money so I’m game

so both charity and I get unlimited money, sounds like a win win situation.

wwhatevver-ampora:

moewave:

ohh-tedbundy:

A true warrior.

I can’t believe he defeated Mr.Incredible

I love how he fuckin fuckin STOMPS on Fred Flintstone

lmaoalien:

ejaculot:

when someone says they dont like dogs

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my mom: it's 11 go to sleep
me: actually its 10:58
british people: better stop off at the next motorway services since i've been driving for 3 hours, which is 1 hour more than the highway code recommends!!
americans: yeah it's a pretty short drive only like 47 hours if i don't stop

relahvant:

*puts metaphor between teeth* it’s a cigarette

kindahorny:

there are kids at my school who think they’re cute and i just sit there like 

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